Internet "Published". Part I

Perhaps one of the reasons (to blame) for the creation of this blog was the limited, almost non-existent Internet publishing success of it's two authors. I once wrote with a buddy of mine this asinine email about Ben Kenobi explaining to Luke the ways of the force as if they were two frat guys talking about drinking beer. Well, I actually found a copy of it floating out there in the Internet ether... it looks like google somehow even archives pages that don't exist anymore. So anyway, this was once an email that went around the world back in the days before the viral tools of the Internet generation like you youngsters have today, like YouTube, facebook, and well, blogs. So that was my claim to fame, about 10 years ago. Yes sir, I was "Internet Published":

[beginning of email]

Luke: "You were in the Greek System?"

Ben: "I was once a Frat Guy, the same as your father."

Luke: "My father didn't belong to a frat. He was a tool, an RA in the dorms for four years."

Ben: "That's what your mother told you. She didn't hold with your father's ideals. She thought he should stay home. Not drink until four in the morning and then piss on things."

Luke: "I wish I had known him, when he could drink."

Ben: "He was a cunning partier, and the best boat-racer in the house. And he was a good bro. I understand you've become quite a booze hound yourself. For over five years he got so curbed he could hardly function. Before the dark times. Before his skirt"

Luke: "How did my father become a lame ass?"

Ben: "A young chick, namely your mother, who was pretty cool herself until she turned to evil, helped other women hunt down and destroy the coolness in men. She civilized and murdered the bro who was once your father. Your mother was pissed off by the dark side of Beer."

Luke: "Beer?"

Ben: [smiles] "Yes, beer is what gives a frat guy his power. It's a beverage created by hops and barley and sh** like that. It f**ks us up. Gives us beer goggles. And lets us yell stuff like "penis" in bars everywhere. Which reminds me. Your father wanted you to have this when you were old enough, but your Mother wouldn't allow it. She thought you'd follow some Frat Brother on some binge drinking crusade."

Luke: "What is it?"

Ben: "Your father's pong paddle. The weapon of a Frat Guy. Not as random or clumsy as a deck of cards or dice. An elegant weapon for a less civilized age. . ."

[end of email]

Yesiree Luke, I was "Internet published". You can even click here for the impressive google-archived entombment of this viral email on a site called "Bob's World" which no longer exists.

Coming soon! The second and concluding episode of "Internet Published"... Episode II: iPoop therefor iAm.