Internet "Published" Part II

Actually it was around 1997, and not really all that far away....

Two ass clowns wanted to actually see something that they authored "published" on the Internet.


Internet Published
Episode II: The Wood Dog Strikes Back (or "iPoop therefore iAm")

It is a period of terrible Internet applications. With no blogs and no youtube, ambitious wiseasses are forced to actually email their parodies and jokes out to everyone they know, or post them on terrible web pages like jokeoftheday.com or www.thejokeyard.com/one_line_jokes/index.html. During such an e-mail, Rebel Bloggers managed to replace the words "the force" with "beer" from the script of the movie Star Wars and email it around the galaxy, thus creating an early semi-successful viral email chain. Not to be outdone, fellow bloggers steal secret plans to the Internet's ultimate weapon, the Gentleman's Glossary, a public web page with enough potty humor to destroy an entire relationship with a woman...

So there's that. I had made a pretty inane email and had it go viral. My co-blogger, Oscar De La Jolla, though took a different route entirely, and coined a phrase "Print and Poop" and published it on the Internet on the Gentleman's Glossary. Specifically:

Print and Poop
[v] The act of printing out an article from your web browser on the office printer, then picking it up and taking it directly into the toilet so you'll have something to read while taking a crap.

This entry published in the 'Glossary is actually still out there on the Internet today. Thankfully, around the year 2000, goofball.com made a power play and consolidated many of the joke websites on the Internet, and has made all of this content available to their paid subscribers. Yes, PAID subscribers. ODLJ's publication has maybe made millions for the goofball guys. Or not.

Regardless, Print and Poop was a phenomena most common in the working world, where one prints out a document (likely a fantasy sports article, or The Sports Guy before he was on ESPN Page 2, or Titash's Cal Football Preview) and takes it to a restroom stall where he reads it on the can. The printed Internet page replaced the newspaper sports section I guess, and now this phenomena had a name. Yes sir, ODLJ was "Internet Published" as well.

The tragic part of this story about ODLJ's Internet publishing success is that it's based on a VERY quaint 1997 concept of printing out articles for trips to the crapper. Anyone with a new iPod knows that you no longer need this. I am now a proud owner of an iPod Touch (left) and I do much more than just read sports articles on the crapper. I adjust my fantasy football roster, I shop for groceries, hell, I have watched full episodes of "Lost" while taking a dump. If you have one, you know what I'm talking about. Oh, and they have that cool iPhone / Minority Report interface that makes the web browsing actually easy, as well as very cool.

So I am officially discontinuing the antiquated phrase "Print and Poop" and coining the classy and more relevant term, "iPoop". Now if only I could get this published on the Internet somehow...