It's OKTO Ramble

I am watching the movie "10,000 BC" while writing this post right now, and I am already very disappointed only 5 minutes in. First, the Cavemen speak English, and second there is ZERO cheap Cavewoman nudity so far, and no signs there is any on the way. Isn't it required to have a hot semi-to-mostly-naked Cavewoman in these movies? Didn't the producers of this crap see Clan of the Cave Bear? Jesus, CONAN or Red Sonja? I'm not sure how much longer I can take this.

Sometimes jokes at work just don't translate very well. When our IT guy sent me a temporary password for our network, he used "Ilovecake2" as the password. I replied, "TOM, YOU ARE A SICK F&@#! Oh, wait, you said I love 'CAKE'. Never mind." I thought it was funny, but oddly he didn't respond to me after that.

It reminded me of the time I tried out the "Donkey Dick" joke at work. It was a total train wreck. And I wonder why I haven't made CFO yet...

In his last start, it was announced that pitcher Felix Hernandez of the Mariners tied the MLB record for number of pitches it took to strike out three batters in an inning with... can you guess it... NINE PITCHES! Why waste our time with keeping dumb records like this? Hey, in that same game the Mariners tied the MLB record for the number of outs it took to get out of an inning! THREE! Way to go guys!

In related news, my 1.7-year-old, Ryan, tied his personal record for the number of meals in a row when he didn't throw his food everywhere... at ONE. One in a row...That's my boy Ryan. Keep up the good work buddy.

Speaking of the kids, my 3.6-year-old girl Charlotte submitted a drawing of "Ariel the Mermaid" to the "My Princess Picture" contest in last month's Princess Magazine. What? You don't get Princess Magazine? OK, whatever, but I am still waiting for the call from that fucking mouse (or whoever announces to the winner) that they are going to be publishing Charlotte's Ariel in next month's Princess Magazine. Take a look at this picture! It's awesome. Note the red hair, green tail, and purple bikini top! CLICK ON THE DAMN PICTURE. She's HOT! I need a lawyer. I need a lawyer now. And Disney sure as shit better get ready to explain themselves legally if there is any indication of a suspect selection process. Whiting, where the hell is Boom Boom? She knows how to do this. And by this I mean suing huge companies for illegally manipulating contests, not drawing mermaids.

And speaking of Mermaids and Cavewomen, do you think Daryl Hannah was hotter as a Mermaid or a Cavewoman? Not sure any other actress has tackled both roles by the way, you throw in "50 Foot Tall Woman" and I'm sure she is the career leader in the number of roles as a bikini wearing creature-women. Bless her. Darryl as a Mermaid though, I must say, that's some nice tail...

And the answer is... 15 minutes. I lasted 15 minutes into "10,000 BC". Just horrible.

/ramble