First, I note that The Wood Dog seems to be on to something with respect to the Mariners being crappy. In fact, one of their players, a fellow by the name of Ichiro Suzuki, noticed as much all the way back in May:
"Playing on this team and seeing what is happening around me, I feel that something is beginning to fall apart. But, if I was not in this situation, and I was objectively watching what just happened this week, I would probably be drinking a lot of beers and booing. Usually, I enjoy Japanese beer, but given the situation, if I was objectively watching the game, I wouldn't care if it was Japanese beer, American beer or beer from Papua New Guinea."
Ichiro was unable to offer further comment, as he had to immediately rush off in his tricked-out Honda Civic to the Seattle Waterfront Arcade to sing karaoke and play Dance Dance Revolution Ultramix, in order to get his mind off his complex about his smaller-than-average penis. They're Asian stereotypes, people. Work with me.Secondly, I want to clarify that Erinn Hayes (from my Hump Island) is hot. It is hard to tell anything from the picture I posted last time, except that she might be a soccer mom, and she certainly pales in comparison to the lovely Miss Bibb. There aren't really any "hot" pictures of Erinn out there, probably because she is being marketed as a "funny" female lead and thus we are supposed to like her for her "talent." Her acting talent, that is. Alternatively, there might not be sexy photos of her out there because she is married and has a child and thus doesn't want to slut it up too much, but since I refuse to acknowledge the existence of said husband and child, this cannot be the reason. I suspect FHM or Maxim will eventually catch up to her once she becomes a little more famous; however, after watching part of the first episode of her current show "Worst Week," I doubt great fame and riches will come her way as a result of that show. Hopefully for Erinn, she won't have the same career arc as Andrea Bendewald, who NBC kept trying to ram down our throats by putting her in every show it had, but who never really found her niche. I wonder who Andrea Bendewald blew to get so many opportunities, and if that person is bisexual.
Having said the above, I enter into evidence the following Exhibit A, which should prove (a) that Erinn Hayes is indeed hot, and (b) that I'm not gay (with such evidence being sorely needed after the last sentence of the previous paragraph):
Glad we got that cleared up. Now, if I could only say the same thing about my bacne...
Speaking of hot chicks, I caught part of Leaving Las Vegas earlier this evening. Hadn't seen any of that movie before, but HOLY CRAP IS ELISABETH SHUE HOT IN THAT FILM. She didn't do that much for me in Karate Kid or Adventures in Babysitting or Cocktail or anything else I may have happened to see her in, maybe because she always seemed to be carrying about 10 extra pounds of baby fat, but not so in LLV. We're talking marathon shape here. We need to find out whatever she did to get into shape for that film and spread the word to the women of America, nay, The World. We owe it to them. We owe it to ourselves. Hell, I think she takes the title of "Miss Movie Hot Chick 1995" from Sandra Bullock in Speed.In other news, over the past week The Wood Dog pissed away second place in our fantasy baseball league, and now is destined to finish third. I don't think the monetary difference is what's burning The Wood Dog's beans, but the fact that our friend Obnoxio is the one who is going to finish in second. Obnoxio pretty much finishes first or second every year, and he's become the guy we love to hate in that league. Add to that the thumping I'm about to lay on The Wood Dog in our fantasy football league tomorrow, and the guy just might give up fantasy sports altogether. I do suspect he'll keep playing fantasy NBA basketball though, since (a) our annual draft is always a good time, and (b) there is no longer an NBA team in Seattle.
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