Text Adventures

Remember Zork, Infidel, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, or any of those other Infocom text adventure games you might have played on your Commodore computer? You know, back before the days of dedicated 3-D cards and internal hard drives, when you'd boot up your games on a floppy disk or a cassette, or even plug in a cartridge to play them? Me, I don't remember them, not really. I had an Atari computer, and I don't think Infocom made a lot of games for it. In any event, I was too busy playing Karateka to be bothered with text adventures.
The types of text adventures I am talking about are of course those that have occurred with members of the fairer sex. These particular members of that sex are again of course women I met on a certain infamous dating website. I'm a bit happier with the selection of those women in SF, as I'm interested in a larger percentage of them and they seem more likely to get my shtick. And my stick.

What follows are a couple of text exchanges I found amusing. You might find them amusing as well. But judging from the number of clicks on that counter on the right side of the screen, you won't find them amusing because you'll never read them, or visit or even know about this blog. You'd think the person who stole the blog shirt from our cabana at the Hard Rock Hotel in Vegas would at least do us the courtesy of reading the blog from time to time. Whore. In any event, the girls in these exchanges shall hereafter be known as the Connector and Miss Sunshine.

ADVENTURE #1: A SPORTING CHANCE

Editor's Note: This exchange occured on the first Saturday of the NFL playoffs.

Me: Man, this new no-texting-while-driving law must be killing you on your long drive.

The Connector: Some laws were made 2b broken. But luckily i m in the passenger seat. Do u no what the fine is?

Me: No, but I saw about 7 different people pulled over on the way up yesterday. I don't think they all got pinched for texting though.

The Connector: Who r u rooting for today?

Me: Well, I'm a sucker for the underdog, so I guess I'm rooting for the Palestinians.**

You see, not only did the NFL playoffs start, but Israel had also just rolled tanks into Gaza that day so the timing was appropriate even if the joke wasn't. I heard nothing further from the Connector that day. I'm starting to think I need to start including smilies and winkies in my messages, regardless of how gay it is to do so.

** This joke does not necessarily reflect the views of It's OKTO Blog or its management. In fact, it doesn't even necessarily reflect the views of Oscar de La Jolla, he was just going for the cheap laugh.

ADVENTURE #2: DOG DAZE

Editor's Note: I am planning a trip with Miss Sunshine, who owns two chihuahuas.
Miss Sunshine: My friend is going to watch the pups

Me: I better not hear any barking coming from your overnight bag.

Miss Sunshine: I would never subject my boys to that kind of treatment :)

Me: I don't know, you are forcing them to live in that crappy town of yours.

Miss Sunshine: Point taken but they have 1200 sq ft to roam, they would have much less in SF

Me: I think they're pretty bored, I saw them cruising for golden retrievers on dogmatch.com earlier.

Miss Sunshine: They prefer Pomeranians, much more classy

Me: I didn't think they were into foreign chicks.

Miss Sunshine: Well they are Mexican :)

Me: I figured they'd pick an American dog so they can get green cards.

(10 minutes pass.)

Me: OK, that last one was BS. Please disregard.

Miss Sunshine: Too late, you already lost a point

It seems I won't be changing my name to Text Message Casanova just yet.